Ode to a Bent Beetle


My friend of 28 years, Bertie Beetle, was seriously damaged on April Fool's day (1 April) 1999, when he was rear - ended by an inattentive driver in heavy traffic. I wasn't injured, but I thought for a time he might be a write-off. When a solution to this potential disaster surfaced, I was inspired to write this little poem.

I hope to chronical his progress on these pages,
as the restoration takes place.


My Beetle's back home and I'm feeling glad,
But after "wearing" a Ford HE's feeling quite sad.
About a foot shorter at front and at rear,
His body's a write-off; that much is clear.

The repairer said "oh my what a mess,
He's not worth fixing - that I must stress.
The chassis' not bent but what use is that
He'd make a good buggy - of that we could chat."

But I like my Beetle, I've had him so long,
I can't chop him up - that would be wrong.

Then to the rescue - on a white horse,
Came Dean from that place called Intervolks.
"I know your car - it's the tan one right?
Hit at both ends - that must look a sight.
After twenty eight years you MUST fix that thing,
To let it go now would make your eyes sting.

There's a guy named Lance - a very nice man,
Who, like you, is a VW fan.
He's using a chassis to build something new,
So he's got a body - or maybe two!"

I rang him right then, and had to say "whow",
He DOES have a body - I can have it right now.
It's exactly right - made in the same year,
With two sets of slots in the deck-lid at rear.

So what would you take to part with it?"
"Oh you can have it, or here it will sit.
And I have an idea which might help you out,
Bring it on over and WE'LL sort it out.
I have this large shop full of hoists and such -
We'll take just a day, or not even that much."

So fix it we will, in about a month's time,
Cleaning and removing all the road grime,
Then fitting the body and painting it white,
And all of the fittings to make it just right.

Yes the car will get fixed, and restored on the way,
It will take me some time but what more can I say,
VW people are so very nice,
To help one another without thinking twice.

So my thanks to all in VW land,
For being supportive and lending a hand.

- Rob Boardman
  Adelaide Australia
  April 1999


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